Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and Trans* are from the Heavens
Society dictates that the genders possess their own “rules”, and they dutifully tend to stay mired within those labels. Are the sexes truly trapped with how society dictates they act? If not, who is to show them the way to break free from their structured bonds? Trans* have arrived to demonstrate that you can be in touch with yourself and who you really are, regardless of what the social order declares.
Society declares the masculine gender’s “qualities”as being strong and protective. Is it a bad thing to require help, from time to time? The aggression males often display tends to escalate stressful times, as they need to be the victor. By demonstrating that their willing to “fight to the death”, they openly display their machismo. Unfortunately, it’s considered unmanly to decide to do otherwise-the term wimp is usually bandied around. Guys must maintain their strength, not displaying weakness-which only tends to shut out those around them. Men don’t open up to their friends, as that’s seen as a sign of weakness-which leads to emotions being bottled up, instead of expressed. Shouldn’t everyone be allowed to demonstrate their caring side? While the answer would appear to be a resounding “yes”, why do men continue to remain fixed within an outdated dictum? From the beginning, boys are taught that they must always be “strong” and that “males don’t cry”. Why is crying associated with being weak? You can be a strong person, as that comes from your “core” and crying doesn’t affect it either way-unless you allow it to. Instead of being able to express their emotions, creating a healthy emotional state, males are told they must put everything in the “vault” and lock it away-this only keeps their emotions ready to explode. Wouldn’t it be better to express your emotions in small segments, as you
experience them, instead of the entire amount of chaos when the dam breaks and emotions from previous issues contribute to exasperating the current problem?
Society asserts the feminine gender’s “qualities” as being caring and emotional. Females are expected of running a household, but nothing else. Isn’t that a contradiction, as keeping a household running smoothly is akin to operating a business? I think it should be considered a positive attribute to have someone that is a caring individual and capable of multi-tasking running the business where you work. Women are thought to be unable to fight and direct, as they’re “emotional”, therefore displaying their weakness. Have you ever witnessed
a mother protecting her young? Every time I have, there hasn’t been any weakness present that I can see. Doesn’t being in touch with your emotion simply imply they’re in touch with who they are, instead of covering things up? Society should embrace someone that is able to express who they are. Should a woman decide to assume some masculine traits she’s labeled a
“dyke”-like that has anything to do with her actions. Should she assume an assertive role she’s labeled a “bitch”-like that has anything to do with who she actually is. If a female remains “passive” she’s being untrue to herself, but if she attempts to shed that mask society shuns her as if she’s wearing a Scarlet Letter.
Society asserts that the Trans* person is a “freak” and is often misunderstood. Being Trans* doesn’t make that person a freak of nature, has nothing to do with a certain sexual orientation, or shouldn’t be kept in the shadows. This enlightened person has lived life as one gender, either male or female, and therefore understands the “expectations” of that gender.
However, once they align to their true self, they begin to live life as the opposite gender-and over time come to understand those expectations, as well. This leaves the Trans* person open minded and enlightened enough to be comfortable with living the best of both worlds. The male to female understands that a person can be strong, while also expressing their emotions; can lead, without being harassed; is able to be empathetic, but still be strong; and that being compassionate isn’t “red flag” behavior. The female to male understands that being strong doesn’t have to equate to being aggressive; that it’s alright to feel their emotions, even if that
should mean they cry publicly; and that communicating with those around you is a positive trait. Society shuns Trans*, because they don’t take the time to know them, and see that they’re like everyone else. Trans* have “lived” both lives and come to terms with how to make both genders flow harmoniously. You can be a male parent and understand that children need compassion and empathy, and demonstrate that to them-instead of simply being the “provider”. You can be a female and be “strong”.
Men come from one “world” and women from another, but Trans* have transcended above both of them-and come out a happier, healthier, saner person on the other side.
By - Nycii Vanderhoff (parent, USMC veteran, friend, activist...and Trans* woman)
Society declares the masculine gender’s “qualities”as being strong and protective. Is it a bad thing to require help, from time to time? The aggression males often display tends to escalate stressful times, as they need to be the victor. By demonstrating that their willing to “fight to the death”, they openly display their machismo. Unfortunately, it’s considered unmanly to decide to do otherwise-the term wimp is usually bandied around. Guys must maintain their strength, not displaying weakness-which only tends to shut out those around them. Men don’t open up to their friends, as that’s seen as a sign of weakness-which leads to emotions being bottled up, instead of expressed. Shouldn’t everyone be allowed to demonstrate their caring side? While the answer would appear to be a resounding “yes”, why do men continue to remain fixed within an outdated dictum? From the beginning, boys are taught that they must always be “strong” and that “males don’t cry”. Why is crying associated with being weak? You can be a strong person, as that comes from your “core” and crying doesn’t affect it either way-unless you allow it to. Instead of being able to express their emotions, creating a healthy emotional state, males are told they must put everything in the “vault” and lock it away-this only keeps their emotions ready to explode. Wouldn’t it be better to express your emotions in small segments, as you
experience them, instead of the entire amount of chaos when the dam breaks and emotions from previous issues contribute to exasperating the current problem?
Society asserts the feminine gender’s “qualities” as being caring and emotional. Females are expected of running a household, but nothing else. Isn’t that a contradiction, as keeping a household running smoothly is akin to operating a business? I think it should be considered a positive attribute to have someone that is a caring individual and capable of multi-tasking running the business where you work. Women are thought to be unable to fight and direct, as they’re “emotional”, therefore displaying their weakness. Have you ever witnessed
a mother protecting her young? Every time I have, there hasn’t been any weakness present that I can see. Doesn’t being in touch with your emotion simply imply they’re in touch with who they are, instead of covering things up? Society should embrace someone that is able to express who they are. Should a woman decide to assume some masculine traits she’s labeled a
“dyke”-like that has anything to do with her actions. Should she assume an assertive role she’s labeled a “bitch”-like that has anything to do with who she actually is. If a female remains “passive” she’s being untrue to herself, but if she attempts to shed that mask society shuns her as if she’s wearing a Scarlet Letter.
Society asserts that the Trans* person is a “freak” and is often misunderstood. Being Trans* doesn’t make that person a freak of nature, has nothing to do with a certain sexual orientation, or shouldn’t be kept in the shadows. This enlightened person has lived life as one gender, either male or female, and therefore understands the “expectations” of that gender.
However, once they align to their true self, they begin to live life as the opposite gender-and over time come to understand those expectations, as well. This leaves the Trans* person open minded and enlightened enough to be comfortable with living the best of both worlds. The male to female understands that a person can be strong, while also expressing their emotions; can lead, without being harassed; is able to be empathetic, but still be strong; and that being compassionate isn’t “red flag” behavior. The female to male understands that being strong doesn’t have to equate to being aggressive; that it’s alright to feel their emotions, even if that
should mean they cry publicly; and that communicating with those around you is a positive trait. Society shuns Trans*, because they don’t take the time to know them, and see that they’re like everyone else. Trans* have “lived” both lives and come to terms with how to make both genders flow harmoniously. You can be a male parent and understand that children need compassion and empathy, and demonstrate that to them-instead of simply being the “provider”. You can be a female and be “strong”.
Men come from one “world” and women from another, but Trans* have transcended above both of them-and come out a happier, healthier, saner person on the other side.
By - Nycii Vanderhoff (parent, USMC veteran, friend, activist...and Trans* woman)